Say Hooray to the Bad Guy

Say Hooray to the Bad Guy

I was talking to my good friend Nicc the other day and we started joking about how unrealistic a lot of our exes were, which got us talking about movies and gender roles. The common thread that I’ve noticed in these films is the fact that especially in romantic comedies or “chick flicks”, women always fall for the less attractive, less accomplished guy. On the other side, the more accomplished man is made to look like a villain, most recently seen in “Think Like a Man” in Morris Chestnut’s character:

What’s so weird about this to me is that successful men are made to look like they’re superficial and materialistic and see women as trophies. If I may offer a different perspective, most successful men I know are actually the opposite. Most guys start out broke, especially in college. Far too often, I’ve seen these men get left in the dust, despite being able to meet every emotional need that a woman had. To add insult to injury, they always get replaced by a guy who is better off. As a result, many of these men are motivated by the pain of rejection to start to look better and make more money so they can be seen as good enough to a woman of their choosing. That’s really what it is. It’s never about a notch on the belt or an added trophy. Men are driven to be successful because their whole lives, they’ve been seen as not good enough to deserve any attention or love. So I must implore women, don’t leave the solid guy who cares about you just because he “works too hard” or seems too driven. Those are the men that will be able to take care of you in the future. If their ambition causes them to love you less or not give you attention, then yes, find someone better. But don’t sacrifice substance just because you feel your guy isn’t fun. A more successful guy has the tools to change himself and the desire. The more fun option often causes you to sacrifice substance and potential. It’s hard to find love these days especially love from men. If you’re lucky enough to have a man who loves you, keep him. If he has shortcomings, be patient and work with him. As Confucius says, “It’s better to be a diamond with a flaw, then a pebble without.”

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