The Comedy of Business - Reasonable Insanity

The Comedy of Business

I shouldn’t be allowed to say this, especially as a business major. But, I can’t help but find corporate America absolutely hilarious. I say this because for people who are not involved in corporate America tend to see business people like this:

If that is not the most awkward/corny looking picture, I don’t know what is. When I typed in a search for “business people” on Google, this was the first image that came up. What’s so funny is that in corporate America, many people within the same industry, company, or department have a skewed perception of themselves. If I may, here are some typical business situations as seen by business people, and then how these situations are seen in reality:

Situation 1 (The Interview) As seen by a business person:

Interviewer: So, can you tell me what your greatest weaknesses are, Bob?

Bob: Certainly. I believe my biggest weaknesses are being too determined to get my work done and being too caring about the well-being of my company while being frustrated because I am so good at what I do that I wish everyone could strive for excellence like me.

Situation 1 (The Interview) Reality:

Interviewer: So, can you tell me what your greatest weaknesses are, Bob?

Bob: Certainly. My greatest weaknesses are that I use office time to make my fantasy football team unstoppable, while lol’ing at Facebook pics for 4 hours, and I also take 2 hour lunch breaks to go on nature walks for no reason. I also don’t get any work done.

 

Situation 2 (Awkward Business Conversation) As seen by a business person:

Jim: Hey Bob, catch that game last night?

Bob: Oh yea. I love that football team. Their running back is supreme!

Jim: I know, they’re going to make the playoffs this year for sure.

Bob: Totally. Super Bowl or bust!

Jim: Yup

Bob: Yup

Jim: Sooo…

Bob: Um, yea, I have to finish this report. I’ll catch up with you later.

Situation 2 (Awkward Business Conversation) Reality:

Jim: Hey Bob, catch that game last night?

Bob: I’m only engaging in conversation with you because I don’t feel like sitting at my despair station that happens to be my desk.

Jim: Same here. This conversation is clearly continuing because we both have an affinity for slacking off at work.

Bob: I hate my life

Jim: Ok, I really don’t want to talk to you anymore, but I can’t think of a cool way to get out of this conversation. I’m stuck

Bob: Same here. Talking to you is like having a conversation with a chair. It’s useless.

Jim: I could possibly be forced to talk to you for another five minutes. I’d rather drown myself in the toilet.

Bob: No worries. I’m going to make up a lie about some vague work that I have to do.

Jim: Thank you for mercy killing this conversation.

Situation 3 (Awkward Office Conversation) Male and female interaction:

Bob: Hey Nancy!

Nancy: Bob! How’s it going?

Bob: Great! How are the kids?

Nancy: They’re doing wonderful. Seth went from 3rd string to 2nd string in soccer practice yesterday. Julie is getting straight A’s. And Bernard finally learned how to color within the lines!

Bob: That is great! I’m so glad to hear that your family is doing well!

Situation 3 (Awkward Office Conversation) Male and female reality:

Bob: Hey Nancy!

Nancy: Bob! How’s it going?

Bob: Pretty good. I’m using this conversation as a way to buy me time to look at you in a way that gets dangerously close to violating our sexual harassment policy.

Nancy: I am completely oblivious to what your plans are. I just want to brag about my kids so I can feel relevant again.

Bob: Keep talking. I’m going to find more things for us to talk about so I can continue to look at you inappropriately.

Disclaimer: This is not about anybody specifically. This is simply a collection of personal experience and stories I’ve shared with friends. Don’t take it personally if it’s about you.

Posted under: Uncategorized

Tagged as: , , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *