Welcome back. If you’re just visiting my site for the first time, I’ve been doing a series on what love makes us do. I received such insightful perspectives from my female friends as well as my male friends. I wanted to give my own perspective as to what love can make us do.
I wanted to start by saying that to me, love is the catalyst of all things in this world. Love drives us to greatness and a failed love/misguided love can drive people to the deepest depths. What’s interesting is that this applies to more than interpersonal relationships. Think about the great things people have done in this world. None of these people came upon this greatness by accident. Their love for a respective subject drove them to want to keep working at their passion projects. Their love willed something pedestrian into something great. This is because on the road to greatness, there will be setbacks, obstacles, detractors, “haters”, etc. These walls will exhaust you cerebrally and emotionally. However, your love is what causes you to override your body’s natural desire to stop and continue to keep progressing towards your goals. In a sense, love causes you to quite literally break down those emotional and mental walls to reach your goals. However, this is not all that I feel love can make you do.
Love is also transcendent. In other words, I sincerely believe that love can not only take you outside of your own personal failures, but can also cause you to improve yourself in ways you couldn’t have imagined. I can speak from my own life experiences on the transcendent power of love. At my core, I am arrogant, conceited, self-centered, and downright mean. I went through life thinking there was something wrong with everyone else but me. But recently, my love for someone caused me to look outside myself and see myself fully; my greatness and my flaws. This love caused me to endeavor on a path to self-improvement that I had never considered before. What was crazy was that love didn’t cause me to improve simply for them. Even better, this love inspired me and showed me that there were personal heights that I could reach. This love overrode every selfish desire I had and changed my personality from self-centered and bitter to protective and hopeful for things to come. Even at my personal lowest, love helped light my path.
That’s ultimately what I believe love makes us all do. It guides us when we think we are lost. While love helped me transcend my previous shortcomings and made me want to improve, that doesn’t mean that this love is always perfect. As humans, we are naturally imperfect. Often times, we will do things to others or to ourselves that hurts beyond belief. It’s these moments that often question our faith in everything. I’ll be the first person to tell you that love has caused me to experience some of my greatest pains lately. In fact, to the point that it made me question if love is even worth it. At the very point when I wanted to give up, I remembered 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 in the Bible which says, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
I had always believed that to love someone, you had to force yourself to do these things. However, given my recent experience, I found that because I love this person, at the very second where logic would tell me to abandon all hope, cut my losses and move on, I always find this reservoir of resolve that I never knew I had. It causes me to understand both points of view and to find the truth that existed in between these two opinions. Suddenly, I found that the above Bible verse was not meant to be a task list, but more of a checklist. I finally realized that my love caused me to do all these things subconsciously without even realizing it. In other words, if you love something or someone, you’ll do all of these things subconsciously without having to force it. And to make sure that it’s the right love, it should never cause you to love or respect yourself less.
I have a tattoo on my left forearm that looks like this it’s an African symbol that reads, “Odo nnyew fie kwan” or “Love never loses its way home.” Looking at it reminds me that going through life, we’ll often lose our way or want to give up hope, but the one constant in this life is that no matter how bad things get, love will direct you every time; it’ll direct you towards the goals you are meant to achieve. It will direct you towards the person you are meant to love. And ultimately, love will be that light that draws people to the best parts of each other. We are all flawed in one way or another, but the love inside of us is a beacon of light that guides us all through the dark journey of life.